If I Was to Die...

If I was to die tonight, I would be disappointed in the life that I have lived.
A life that I've barely lived, to be exact. I would shake my head in the person
that I was. I was never happy in the skin/body I was in, yet never really did
anything to make it into the body/skin I wanted. I never went out, never dated.
I always let people walk over me, never put my foot down. I have lived a very
disappointing life. The rare occasions that I've had a smile on my face, were
never really something that lasted long. I've never been in love, have had sex,
but have never made love. I live strong externally, yet drown in my sorrows
constantly. I've always loved and cared for others more than they have for me.
I've never felt good enough, even when I speak. My thoughts/feelings aren't
important enough. If I was to die tonight... I still wouldn't know who Vanessa
really is.